Well, I figured out what was wrong with the little ficlet…

I’ve been writing a ficlet for Thunderbirds based on the stories “Operation Crash Dive” and “The Impostors”. After watching “Crash Dive” I started to wonder: what if Captain Hansen thought International Rescue had really stolen those secret aircraft plans. He knows Scott’s name, first and last – a security issue that has really, really irked me, btw – and he has the names of Gordon, Alan, and Virgil, too. He could easily figure out the rest of the family because of Jeff’s notoriety, John’s writing career, and Gordon’s accident. Would he use this information to help the search for International Rescue or not?

So, that’s the plot of this little ficlet (which will become a chapter in my Missing Scenes Anthology, even though it’s not technically a missing scene). The problem was: I hated my first draft. I’ve been working this evening (Saturday into Sunday) on fixing it and I finally figured out what it really needed – Hansen’s voice. Everything I wrote was too formal for him. Yeah, he’s an airline pilot and all, but his whole demeanor is far less refined than the pilots I’ve seen. He doesn’t seem as polished.* So, I’m rewriting to bring the whole piece more into the vernacular and as I do, I like it more.

Still not at all comfortable with using a lot of vulgarity or profanity, so I’m not going to.  Hopefully I can get the idea across without having Hansen drop f-bombs in his thoughts. Now to see if ThatGirlSix can beta for me. If not, a quick once over by lillehafrue will suffice.

*Yes, I know they’re marionettes, but damn if those voice actors didn’t bring them to life!

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